Yesterday I took myself and a Christmas gift card to a clothing store in search of something to carry me through this “not exactly winter but not quite spring” weather Windsor has surprised me with.
While browsing the racks of clothing I turned and caught a glimpse of myself in a mirror.
I looked ridiculous!
I was wearing the jeans I always wear (despite the fact that I’ve lost enough weight that I can now pull them off without undoing the button or zipper) and a big baggy corduroy shirt (which I’ve always loved because of its vibrant red colour, but which I’m not sure I’ll ever wear again because of how swamped I looked in it).
I knew that this particular pair of jeans fit poorly, as I always have to hike them up so I don’t trip on them… and I knew that the shirt was becoming a bit too comfortable… but I never realized just how silly they looked, or rather, how silly I looked wearing them, until I saw that fleeting mirror image.
So I bought myself a new top (two sizes smaller than usual!), and vowed to send all of the “too bigs” in my closet to a better place.
I also realized that it’s high time we acquired a full-length mirror for our home!
You know, I think my brain short-circuits when I gain a lot of weight. I know that no matter what size one might be, wearing an outfit that fits properly is far more flattering than hiding behind oversized baggy garments – yet for me, the protective instinct to hide beneath volumes of fabric grows stronger and stronger as the weight creeps higher and higher.
I think some re-wiring may well have taken place, however, via that one quick, horrific glance in the store mirror. No more hiding!
I wore my new top today – the one that actually fits – and I felt fabulous! As an extra bonus, much to my delight, I was also able to wear my wedding ring and my engagement ring, both of which have been hanging on a silver necklace for far longer than I’m comfortable calculating.
This is me – this is what happens – when I am happy.
Onwards and downwards.